June 25th, 2006 : What to do if you tear an abdominal muscle
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Stop screaming like a girl
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Get an icepack. Frozen peas will do.
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Apply to the suspect area for 20-30 minutes
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Repeat every 4 hours until the pain goes away, or for up to 2-3 days. If the pain doesn’t go away in this time, or a bulge forms, seek medical attention. You may have given yourself a hernia. It’s probably worth paying a visit to the doctor regardless.
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Rest. For god’s sake, rest. Do not, under any circumstances, skate home from work, take a tumble and make it worse.
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Whilst resting, try not to consider, and subsequently mull over for hours and hours, the fragility of the human body that in the not so distant past you could treat without a modicum of respect and expect no comeback whatsoever. Damn it.
(Those with a death wish may skip step 5.)